Before
my eldest turned two, I already prepared myself to what they call Terrible Twos- how bad could it be? I’ve
witnessed my students throw tantrums and I was able to handle the situations well
so I can definitely do it again right? WRONG. It’s so much different when it
comes to your own child.
Students
still has a bit of hiya to go all out
in school. They don’t show 100% of their personality knowing that teachers will
be watching over their moves. Sometimes, they even show an entirely
different personality in school that’s why parents get shocked when I tell
them that their child is behaving well. “Ha?? di siya ganyan sa bahay teacher eh” When it’s your own child, they will
just shift their mood whenever and wherever they want to. And that makes me SO
FRUSTRATED that I sometimes shift to someone else too- like a monster.
My
daughter is now 2 years and 10 months old and I’ve seen so many shifts in her
emotions. Often times she’s in the mood to talk and play with everyone but when
something doesn’t go her way, that’s when we enter the fight zone.
Fight
zone is when I try my best to patiently explain to her why she needs to wait
for her turn or why she needs to finish her meal before eating dessert BUT she
insists on getting what she wants right there and then. Then comes the shouting
and I shout back then she starts to cry and I scream some more because I can’t
tolerate the fake cry (yes it’s fake I know!). Such a scary scenario I tell
you. I honestly don’t have a lot of patience to deal with her right now because
I also have to reserve my energy for her younger brother who needs my attention
and needs to breastfeed from time to time.
I
feel guilty whenever I give in to her wants just because I don’t want to enter
the fight zone anymore. I’d rather be in peace and keep up with her wishes than
go to the cycle of shouting-crying-screaming. But I still want to do the right
thing so I try my best to be MORE PATIENT (like 1million times) because I don’t
want her to think that crying will give her the hall pass!
So
what do I do when I can’t take it anymore? Walk away.
It’s okay to walk away from your child.
I’m not saying that you leave her alone in the room and let her cry for hours.
I’m saying you get your sh*t together and just leave- leave the room, leave the house
if you can! When I can’t handle it anymore and I need to finish work, I go to a nearby coffee shop. This helps me clear my mind and heart. I
need to do this not only for the kids but also for myself. I’m so thankful that
I have a patient partner and yayas. They’re my sub!! Walking
away doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a mom anymore; I just need a break
from motherhood and just be Kat.
It
doesn’t end there. I make sure that every time I walk away, I reflect on the
things that just happened and assess my behavior as well. I think of other ways
on how to effectively approach my child. This is the peak of toddlerhood and it’s
inevitable-I really have to experience this with her and before you know it, it’s
all over.
Here I am now inside a coffee shop, finishing this
blog post and working on other work-related articles. I’m trying to be more composed so that when
I come back, I’ll be better..
hopefully. 
