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Ok brief background, I got engaged February 2015, yep it’s a long engagement and in between planning I found out that I was pregnant with Aloncito. Imagine all the emotions I was feeling that time- shocked, scared and a bit sad because we were almost wrapping things up for our January 2017 wedding and now I have to start over again with breastfeeding101 because baby is on his way! Anyway, the little boy is a blessing naman so we decided to move the date to the last quarter of this year. And will you look at that, I only have a few weeks left to do some more preps. Ang bilis ng panahon!

If you wanna be like me who has been super chill during the entire planning stage, here are tips to keep in mind to avoid turning into a Bridezilla!

Know what you want

If you got engaged, chances are you’ve already made a mental list of suppliers in your head. You’ve seen the works of the top photographers, videographers and that dream dress made by the fashion designer you love. If you can’t sleep through it, BOOK them right away.  I know, it’s easier said than done especially when it comes to the wedding budget but trust me, you’ll be extra happy when you’re comfortable that these suppliers will deliver a hundred percent on your wedding day. Say my wedding stylist who happens to be a friend too, I just love her minimalist style which reflects my personality too so I asked if she can style my wedding. It’s her first time too so she was extra happy and pressured to make my peg come to life! She gave me a reasonable offer so yea, paid in full!

Do not waste time on Pinterest

Sure it’s one click away to finding all the things you need, you just have to type the word wedding. It’s also true that you need to compile pegs- the best silhouette for your body type, the no makeup makeup look and the flower arrangements for you and your girls. But Pinterest has a curse of putting you in an emotional rollercoaster. First, it’s gonna be exciting then you’ll feel overwhelmed with the number of options to choose from and there comes frustration when you think about “How the hell will I pull this off?” Unless you have all the time to DIY or you’re willing to pay whatever for the stylist, then why not? I’m just saying that keep your Pinterest browsing in moderation to control your expectations too!

Ask for help

Everyone is BUSY.  At this stage in our lives, most of your friends are busy at work and they couldn’t care less about your big day to be honest! Sure they are willing to help but they have to attend to their deadlines too in the office and that means they only got limited time to spare for you and the whole planning. Unless your bridesmaid is a crazy rich Asian who can afford to sit around the whole day and choose the perfect shade of blue for your table cloth, do not expect them to be there 24/7. For me, I made sure that my bridesmaids were given certain task that I know they’ll be able to accomplish without getting stressed. One bridesmaid was assigned to help me with the vows because she’s a good writer while another was asked to make the flowers for the entourage because she’s a designer and she has the style for anything posh! Another one was designated to help in choosing the wedding bands because she loves jewelry. Make sure that these friends know you well and your style so they can really give you the best product or advice!

Do not nag the guy

Believe me, whatever deadline you set or assignment you give them, they will do it when they have the time. My fiance is always hooked to his phone running errands and business transactions so I really had to make notes for him on what he needs to do. As much as I want everything settled a month before the wedding, I just had to leave it up to him and trust that he will be able to complete last minute agendas- such as finding the perfect pants and shoes or renting the tent (omg guys I didn’t know choosing tents will take up so much of our time!) or simply telling his guy friends that “Hey, you’re part of our entourage okay, prepare your most decent Barong Tagalog”. LOL.

Make time for other things

Dude, the wedding is just 10HOURS. You can’t live around the wedding preps if you also have other commitments. When you read on Wedding Timeline, you’ll feel pressured that “sh*t, wala pa akong ganito ganyan, I have to do it NOW!” the timeline is just a guide but it is still up to you, your running budget and the amount of time that you have in your hands. I’m SUPER busy with work right now but I make sure to give two days of preps every week. And because I also have Mama duties, I can’t just spend one whole day out just for the wedding. I promised myself that after this main event, I’ll give hundred percent of my focus back to the kids who are obviously chosen as our flower girl and ring bearer! Ameelia and Aloncito will be the cutest part of my entourage don’t you think?? :)

How about you, were you a Bridechilla or Bridezilla? What helped you handle the wedding preps ‘ stress? What other tips can you give brides-to-be so they can enjoy the whole planning stage? 

We’re finally bidding farewell to sunny and long days and making way for the grey weather. Be armed with these rain-ready items you and your family need to survive the unpredictable weather without having to sacrifice comfort and style.

Summer has been very hot, malagkit and BUSY for me. I seem to not have enough time to do everything in just 24 hours. Surprisingly, I have the energy to sustain the daily grind but the things that I have to accomplish seem to just go on and on… and on.

Oh dear, I’m not complaining. If there’s one mom who is lucky to be able to work and care for her kids at the same time, that would be me. In fact, I’m so happy with how my personal business (which will turn a year old this June!) continues to grow and I’m excited for the plans I have plotted for the next half of 2017. It’s just that with my line of work, I feel the need to update myself with social events around me which results to scrolling down my social media accounts almost all the time. There’s a need to keep up or be knowledgeable on events, new baby products, mommy workshops and teacher seminars around the metro! Whew!

I feel guilty because the things that I do pull my attention away from the kids. Instead of spending more hours in the morning singing nursery rhymes with Ate or giving the baby a bath before lunch, I spend my time typing and researching topics for work. After that, I have to prepare my learning materials for my students. It’s gasgas to say but “So many things to do, so little time”.

Which is why I promise to unplug every Sundays (except for this post!). I promise to dedicate this day for rest, and be a tambay at home. I have to stop thinking about deadlines and just watch movies and series I’ve been planning to see. I want to make healthy dishes for the family, or just sit down on our red couch (which is the one always left unnoticed) and do NOTHING- no phone checking. I also have to work on my reading habits, any suggested books? Lastly, I want to find good music that will fill the soul (naks) and not just the same mainstream Calvin Harris suggested on Spotify. The list goes on but will focus on these first.

Moms, and you, reading this..let’s just unplug, shall we?

Don’t blink or you might miss a moment- been telling this to myself ever since I became a mom of two. Everything happened so fast. The payatot baby boy that came out from my tummy is now a sumo wrestler. I’m not exaggerating but he gained so much that my arms are challenged whenever I carry him. And it’s not just my little boy, but also his ate. Ameelia now is really The Ate. She still continues to adore Aloncito (thank God, no bickering yet!). I love that she has become more malambing and madaldal at the same time, I think we just graduated from the Terrible Twos phase. YAS.

June is also the month where we introduce solids to Aloncito. Hooray! I’m so looking forward to this. I promise that I’ll be more cautious with what he eats and that he keeps a healthy diet for as long as I’m around. Because the dad likes giving McDo to our eldest hoho why!

Half of me rejoices because I don’t have to pressure myself to produce a lot of milk but the other half feels like what just happened, he was just glued to my boobs now he wants to stay his own plate and utensils to eat? Actually, he want to eat everything he sees and holds with his very hard grip! Hay.

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Although there are many highs for 2017, there are days when I feel dead tired and still wish for a sub. Like in the middle of the night, when I’m having a good dream but then the baby suddenly decides to cut the dream because he wants dede. I want a sub, the same Mama Kat who can give 200% energy to give her kids and still be able to manage all work-related responsibilities. But when I think about it, I don’t want another person to replace me, even just for a while. Sounds selfish but I want my children all for myself. Why? Because in just a few years, they will be doing things independently that I won’t hear the demanding Mama,Mama! from them. For now, I just want to save a mental picture (and of course, some real photos) to remind me of how these human beings are taking over my life.. in a good way! 

Before my eldest turned two, I already prepared myself to what they call Terrible Twos- how bad could it be? I’ve witnessed my students throw tantrums and I was able to handle the situations well so I can definitely do it again right? WRONG. It’s so much different when it comes to your own child.

Students still has a bit of hiya to go all out in school. They don’t show 100% of their personality knowing that teachers will be watching over their moves. Sometimes, they even show an entirely different personality in school that’s why parents get shocked when I tell them that their child is behaving well. “Ha?? di siya ganyan sa bahay teacher eh” When it’s your own child, they will just shift their mood whenever and wherever they want to. And that makes me SO FRUSTRATED that I sometimes shift to someone else too- like a monster.

My daughter is now 2 years and 10 months old and I’ve seen so many shifts in her emotions. Often times she’s in the mood to talk and play with everyone but when something doesn’t go her way, that’s when we enter the fight zone. 

Fight zone is when I try my best to patiently explain to her why she needs to wait for her turn or why she needs to finish her meal before eating dessert BUT she insists on getting what she wants right there and then. Then comes the shouting and I shout back then she starts to cry and I scream some more because I can’t tolerate the fake cry (yes it’s fake I know!). Such a scary scenario I tell you. I honestly don’t have a lot of patience to deal with her right now because I also have to reserve my energy for her younger brother who needs my attention and needs to breastfeed from time to time.

I feel guilty whenever I give in to her wants just because I don’t want to enter the fight zone anymore. I’d rather be in peace and keep up with her wishes than go to the cycle of shouting-crying-screaming. But I still want to do the right thing so I try my best to be MORE PATIENT (like 1million times) because I don’t want her to think that crying will give her the hall pass!

So what do I do when I can’t take it anymore? Walk away.

 

It’s okay to walk away from your child. I’m not saying that you leave her alone in the room and let her cry for hours. I’m saying you get your sh*t together and just leave- leave the room, leave the house if you can! When I can’t handle it anymore and I need to finish work, I go to a nearby coffee shop. This helps me clear my mind and heart. I need to do this not only for the kids but also for myself. I’m so thankful that I have a patient partner and yayas. They’re my sub!! Walking away doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a mom anymore; I just need a break from motherhood and just be Kat.

It doesn’t end there. I make sure that every time I walk away, I reflect on the things that just happened and assess my behavior as well. I think of other ways on how to effectively approach my child. This is the peak of toddlerhood and it’s inevitable-I really have to experience this with her and before you know it, it’s all over.