3 years already? I want to be honest with you. You’ve given me a lot heartaches and headaches over the past few months- having to deal with your predictable tantrums, keeping up with your play time energy and the never-ending arguments we have to go through every single day when you resist to take a dump or just take a bath.
There are days when I want to give up and just hand over to you my phone just to keep you quiet for the next couple of minutes. I even enrolled in yoga classes so I can have my own quiet time without you nagging me to change the channel to Disney Junior. Some nights, I just can’t deal with your shouting and crying that I want to sleep in another room and just be in peace with your little brother. I don’t understand why you act that way. I’ve tried different techniques to talk to you but you just keep on giving me “No!”, “I don’t like!”, and “I don’t want!”. And when you do this, I start to hate you. Not kidding here, Ameelia.
But after a tiring day, you just want to cuddle, or sleep with me or Papa and all the things that I hated about you just start to fade. It’s some kind of a magic spell that you put on us- something unexplainable that only us, your parents will feel and understand. And I start to tell to myself “It’s just one of those days, she’ll be ok tomorrow.” Unfortunately, the cycle begins from the moment you wake up. It’s like you always wake up at the wrong side of the bed. I wonder if this will go on and on or and if implementing Martial Law at home would make a difference.
I also start to question my parenting style, is there something wrong? Are we raising a spoiled kid? Am I giving her too much attention that all her wants are being met in an instant? I want to ask you directly, what the hell is wrong?
And then I see you play with your Hello Kitty laptop, or your Elsa singing Let It Go endlessly and that’s when I realize that you’re just a kid-you also have mood swings and you can’t just deal with your emotions just yet. It’s my role as your mom to guide you, to help you label your feelings and to teach you how to let go of your fear, anger and worries. I’m working on it, don’t worry.
Sure we also have our good days, when you act as the nice big sister to Aloncito. You enjoy hugging or showing your art works to him. You tell him nicely that you don’t want him to pull your hair or to eat your nose. You let him play with your toys too and you play along with him. These are the moments that I want to remember, that even at a young age, you already learned how to be an Ate, without me directing you what to do all the time.
Now that you’re three and sometimes you act like thirteen (ugh), I just want to let you know that you are our greatest teacher. You taught Papa and I how to be patient, understanding and kind to each other. Without you, we would have gone our separate lives because we just can’t stand each other’s attitude. You raised us up very well and I want to thank you for that. You’re the reason why I do what I do. Thanks and I hope that your constipated phase will soon be over because I can’t deal with that kind of drama, anak. Please.
Happy birthday, Ameelia. We love you. ☺
1 comments
Sweeeet! <3
ReplyDelete